Today, I was listening to a podcast about Knowing and Being Known by Erin Moniz (one day I’ll read the book, I’m sure it will get a post, too). I kept hearing themes about generations and how the Church does community. My mind immediately thought about how we ask questions. I am fortunate to be friends with many great question askers— people who use their words to invite people into closer community. And, I am fortunate to be living at home and get to observe my grandmother ask questions. I’m amazed by her consistency in remembering the right questions to ask to make sure she’s checking in on people. Yet I was hearing in this podcast how many people do not experience these good questions, especially in church. “Community is inconvenient,” my friend Bethany has said, and we are so eager not to inconvenience others. I think I have cited my sources well enough here. I will not try to further force my thoughts into prose, they need room to breathe in poetry. I hope this poem finds you well 🙂
“To Have and to Hold”
I belong to a grandmother,
A lifelong church-woman;
A Georgian for all her years;
Someone who knows how to ask questions.
She asks many.
“How’s your mom doing?”
“How’s he doing in school?”
“How’s she liking it in Florida?”
“What are they doing for work now?”
Belonging to a church who knows what it means to have,
An older generation who inquires about what they know is important.
I belong to a younger generation,
One skeptical of the church;
Of people in general.
Often isolated.
Afraid to answer too truthfully.
I wonder
Do we let people in enough?
Are we too afraid to share?
Perhaps we are not letting people have us
Because we are afraid of what will be found
By others and ourselves,
And how we’ll react.
I belong to a younger generation,
One who loves to hold.
We insist on a seat at the table for all.
We insist on everyone being welcomed
Because who they are is good.
I wonder
Do we ask enough about people?
Do we dismiss them as good
Without taking the time to ask
And learn about their beauty?
Insufficient parts
One generation has
They know others
They want to hear all about them
The other holds
They welcome others
So that all are accounted for.
They need one another.
To have: necessary;
It lays the groundwork for being known
Yet it’s insufficient
Nor is it to hold;
Everyone wants to be accepted
But none can be accepted without first being known.
The delicate balancing act of questions,
Knocking on the door of others’ lives
Too soft— too vague
One will never be known.
Too loud— too direct
One is intruded upon.
Can we forgive?
The cost of community.
Being asked too much of and being hurt.
Reconciling and restoring relationship.
I belong to a grandmother,
An example.
One who asks every time
Because she wants to know.
“How’s your mom doing?”
“How’s he doing in school?”
“How’s she liking it in Florida?”
“What are they doing for work now?”
I pray my generation learns to have and to hold.
The example I’ve been given.
That we may be the bride of Christ.
Song of the day: Welcome by The Arcadian Wild (in fact, much of that album is on theme for this post).
The Big Idea 